


Home Cures

by meyari



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Common Cold, Cooking, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-26
Updated: 2012-03-26
Packaged: 2017-11-02 13:13:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/369349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meyari/pseuds/meyari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim has some very odd ways of handling things sometimes, some of which surprise and confuse his family. Especially when it involves colds and cooking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Cures

**Author's Note:**

> Lots of other writers that I read have head canon that Tim Drake has a weak immune system and that he frequently gets sick. I um, don't. At all. I actually tend to think the exact opposite, that Tim's got a rock solid immune system and that he rarely ever gets sick. So have a little drabble based on my head canon for Tim and how he stays healthy. Hope that everyone likes this one!

"What is that smell?"

Tim looked over his shoulder, sniffling a little from his cold. Jason sounded like he was gagging. When he poked his head into the kitchen where Tim was cooking, he wheezed. Alfred sighed behind his breathing mask, giving Tim the habaneras that he'd been kind enough to chop for Tim.

"There you go, Master Timothy," Alfred said. He pulled off his rubber gloves, heading straight for the door. "Do let me know if you need anything else."

"Thanks, Alfred," Tim called towards Alfred's rapidly disappearing back.

"What in the fuck are you doing?" Jason asked. He coughed and wiped his watering eyes. "You brewing some sort of gas weapon or something?"

"No, I'm making Chili Verdi and fried rice," Tim said. "Refried beans and tortillas, too."

"What is that stench?" Damian hissed.

"Oh my God, my nose hairs are melting!" Dick squawked.

"Why?" Jason asked as if he was questioning Tim's sanity.

Damian and Dick's expressions were as horrified as Jason's. Dick's eyes were already watering. Damian seemed to be more accustomed to spicy food because he just wrinkled his nose at Tim's cooking. Rather than answer them immediately, Tim taste-tested his green chili. It made his eyes water and his tongue burn. Perfect. The fried rice was cooking perfectly, almost done. The refried beans were perfect too. Even his tortillas were warm and ready.

"Uh, Tim?" Jason asked.

"Hmm?" Tim asked, blowing his nose on a paper towel. "Oh, sorry. I'm coming down with a cold."

"And that connects to cooking food that'll dissolve your intestines how?" Dick asked. He had one hand over his mouth and nose. The other was wiping tears away.

"Spicy food cures the common cold," Tim said. He thought everyone knew that. They stared back at him as if he truly had gone insane. "It works. I've done this ever since I was eight. I should be fine after a plate or two."

Tim sighed at the shocked and horrified noises they made at him. Rather than listen to them, he dished out an extra-large serving for himself. There was enough left that he'd have some to freeze for the next time he caught a cold. When Tim started eating, Damian came over with a fork and took a bite. He gasped and coughed, stealing Tim's milk to drain the glass. Jason looked at Tim eating, Damian's reaction and then glowered.

"No way is it that bad," Jason growled.

"It really is spicy, guys," Tim said around a bite that made his nose water and his lips tingle. "That's the point. It sweats the cold out."

Jason took a bite from the pot. He wheezed, coughed and all but fell over as he scrambled at the fridge to get the jug of milk. Pretty soon, Dick had a small bowl, Damian had his own plate and Jason was cursing reverently as he alternately sipped milk from the jug and took bites from Damian's plate. Tim shook his head at them.

"Don't blame me if your stomachs object to this," Tim said eventually. "I'm used to food this spicy. You're probably going to regret it if you eat too much."

"It's good once your lips go numb," Dick said. He slurred his words. By this point his lips were a bit swollen and his eyes were completely red.

"I may have underestimated your true strength," Damian said as he blew his nose for the nineteenth time. He wheezed as he drew in air to blow again.

"Thank you," Tim said, passing Damian more paper towels for his running nose and eyes.

"Goddamn vicious," Jason mumbled. He drank another big gulp of milk, slowly swishing it around his mouth.

That night Tim sighed when Bruce glared at him. Dick was upstairs in the bathroom. Still. Jason was out on patrol already but he'd told them that he wouldn't be out for long. Damian had made it downstairs but only to the Cave's bathroom. He wasn't going anywhere. It was just Tim and Bruce tonight.

"I told them to be careful," Tim said. "Green chili to cure the common cold isn't for the uninitiated."

"Next time," Bruce growls, "don't cook it here."

"Yes sir," Tim said.

At least Tim's cold appeared to have been beaten back. His sniffling nose was no longer running. The tickle in his throat that had promised a cough was gone. And the faint feeling of being too warm was gone as well. It was a pity that the others had felt it necessary to try his green chili but Tim hardly felt that it was his fault that they were down because of it. He had warned them, after all.

The End


End file.
